Category: Parent Zone

Autism is no longer a secret

Written by: The Educational Psychologist Team of the Heep Hong Society For parents, explaining their child’s autism to others can feel like reopening a wound. They fear not only the lack of support from friends and family, but also the potential for misunderstanding or discrimination. So, how should parents approach this with their relatives and friends? Understanding the causes of autism is crucial. When explaining to friends and family, parents must first clarify that the cause of autism is not related to parental neglect or overindulgence. Autism is associated with abnormal brain development, which affects the child’s communication skills, thinking and behavior patterns, as well as their ability to understand the thoughts and actions of others. Parents can list the common characteristics of most children with autism, including social difficulties, stubbornness, anxiety, communication difficulties, focus ability, varying levels of activity, atypical emotional responses, physical coordination problems, and different sensory responses. Stay Updated with the Latest Information In addition, parents can try to stay updated with the latest information on autism, such as concepts like “executive function”, “central integration”, and “theory of mind”. This can help them better understand their child’s developmental needs. When relatives and friends show interest in learning more, parents can explain these concepts in depth. The more parents understand about autism, the easier it is for relatives and friends to get to know the child. Perhaps the usual discriminatory views will gradually disappear as they understand more. The knowledge parents equip themselves with can make relatives and

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Can children be naughty?

Written by: Fung Ji Hei, Game Therapist When Ji Fung, a first-grader, didn’t return from the restroom after a while, the teacher sent the male class leader to check on him. After a while, the class leader came back panting, saying, “The entire restroom is soaked!” So, the teacher went to investigate personally. Upon arriving at the restroom, the teacher saw a flood, with water and bubbles everywhere, and Ji Fung was “washing his hands” in one of the sinks. The teacher asked, “What are you doing?” He replied, “Washing my hands and seeing why there are bubbles.” To prevent any danger, the teacher stopped Ji Fung’s actions. Ji Fung is a very curious child, but his curiosity often causes inconvenience for others and himself. He likes to question everything and even more, he likes to try everything. Once, in order to see if he could fit through the hole in the back of a chair, he got his head stuck in it for about an hour. It was only after a worker used tools to break the chair that he was able to free himself. Despite his numerous terrifying experiences, nothing has deterred him yet. The teachers are at a loss because Ji Fung is not a bad student. Punishment alone is futile, so they need to think of other solutions. “Naughty”: A Multi-faceted View Describing Ji Fung as “naughty” is perhaps the most fitting, and this trait is quite common among children, albeit to varying degrees. What is

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How to discover hidden talents and potential?

Written by: geneDecode Genetics Education Professional Team Innate potential is an ability that everyone is born with, a genetic characteristic that is present before growth. From birth, each child possesses their own unique talents. In the process of a child’s growth, emotional intelligence, IQ, and the ability to withstand setbacks, among others, are all necessary conditions for success. Among these conditions, each child’s talents are different. Can we discover their innate talents in the innocent eyes of children? Can we be sure to capture these talents and guide the children on a path of growth that suits them? Here is a mother’s experience:   ‘Amy is 4 years old this year. As she grows up, she is becoming more and more curious about the things around her. Amy’s father noticed that she seemed to show a special interest in doodling when she was 2 years old. I casually gave her some paint, and she could use a brush, crayons, or her fingers, even a bottle of ketchup, to paint. No one knows what she is painting, maybe only she knows. Amy’s father and I both think that she should be allowed to grow freely. I found that she seems to like painting very much. If she is really good at it, I think we will definitely cultivate her well.’ Amy’s parents are wise. Each child has different talents hidden in different fields. When a child’s talent is found, if it can be cultivated and paid attention to by parents and

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How to reduce the side effects of rewards?

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist at the New Horizons Development Centre Some parents have the following thoughts about rewards: “The original intention was to praise the child’s good performance, but now the reward seems to have become a bribe.” “He has become utilitarian, calculating the degree of his effort based on the size of the reward.” “Sometimes I even feel that the child has become greedy. The rewards that once attracted him no longer have the original effect. Only by providing richer rewards is he willing to make an effort.” In fact, in the commercial society where adults are located, bosses also use rewards and bonuses to praise employees’ outstanding work performance and inspire employee morale. Many early childhood education experts have also proposed a reward system, using children’s favorite food, toys, etc., to train and cultivate their good behavior habits. Rewards have become our usual way, but parents’ worries are not unfounded. How can we reduce the side effects of rewards? There are mainly two directions to reduce the side effects of rewards. One is that parents can change the type of rewards, and at the same time, they must not encourage children with money, otherwise it will make children prioritize money and everything will be based on materialism. The rewards given by parents can be changed from one-time enjoyment such as food, gradually transformed into long-term gifts, such as entertaining toys, academic stationery, etc., and later can be rewarded spiritually, such as parents giving certificates,

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What should I do if my child has a habit of sucking their fingers?

Written by: Early Childhood Education Specialist, Teacher Chan-Chen Shu-an According to Dr. David Levy’s research, children who finish a bottle of milk within 10 minutes (possibly because the bottle’s nipple hole is larger) are more likely to exhibit finger-sucking behavior than those who finish the entire bottle in 20 minutes. Dr. Levy also conducted an experiment feeding puppies with a dropper, preventing them from sucking while feeding. The result was that they resorted to sucking their own or other puppies’ skin, some so vigorously that the skin peeled off. From this, we can understand that the behavior of infants sucking their fingers in the first few months is due to the lack of satisfaction from sucking, it is a need, not innate, and not a bad behavior. Breastfeeding Fosters Parent-Child Bond When a mother can breastfeed her baby, the baby is the happiest. This is because the baby not only receives proper nutrition and warmth and security from being in contact with the mother’s skin but also enjoys the soft nipple while sucking, which provides not only sustenance but also a profound love and emotional connection between mother and child. This deep love and family bond cannot be compared to feeding from a cold bottle, especially considering the supreme satisfaction the baby gets from sucking. However, most mothers work outside the home due to various reasons, and sometimes have to feed their children with a bottle. In such cases, special attention should be paid to the frequency and duration of feeding.

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How Should Parents Express Their Love For Their Children?

Source: Parenting Specialist, Ken Sir Some mothers often ask me, “How should I show my love for my children?” Will it be spoiled by expressing too much? I think that Chinese people are more introverted and are often afraid to express their love. Especially when you want to express your concern for him but end up with a different attitude. I once saw a mother and her little child lost in Shatin and then reunited. How did the mother behave after the reunion? She grabbed him by the hand and hit him while saying, “I just couldn’t see you; do you know how scared I was?” I am very worried about you. What can I do if I can’t see you? In fact, everyone knows that his mother loves him, but the child cannot feel it. I often share an example of how to express love in my lectures. When I was a child, my father ordered a drink, and since he didn’t have much money at the time, he asked the waiter for an extra cup after ordering a hot drink. He kept pouring the drinks around in front of me, trying to get the drinks cold as soon as possible so that the kids wouldn’t burn their mouths when they drank them and they could drink them faster, but I found that if the kids asked their parents or I asked many of the student’s parents, they would all answer, “This will get cold faster.” When responding to

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Children often shirk their responsibilities, and parents should be held accountable?

Source: Psychotherapist, Lee Wai Tong Whenever something happens, children will use different excuses to shirk their responsibility toward others. Parents may then scold the child for this, but this may make the child avoid taking responsibility. Faced with this situation, what can parents do? First of all, when parents ask children, “Why didn’t you finish the work?” or “Why don’t you understand?” Parents want their children to take responsibility. But at this time, the child will want to shirk the responsibility and give it to someone else, but at the end of the day, the parents actually want the child to take responsibility. You should know that responsibility starts with the child having the time to make decisions because having the time is called having a sense of autonomy. If children can have a sense of autonomy, they will be more likely to be responsible. For example, if he does not know how to do his homework and is asked why he does not understand, he will say that the teacher did not teach him, the teacher did not teach him well, or that the other students were noisy. At that moment, if parents continue to say that he is not concentrating in class, they will only make the child throw the responsibility further away. So at this point, we need to know how to do better since we are facing difficulties and then work with the child to figure out how to do it. The child will feel responsible

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How can parents help young children adapt to primary school life both psychologically and physically?

Source: Professor Chiu Wing Kai, Chair Professor of Sociology at the Education University of Hong Kong. It’s already been 5 months into 2023 and summer vacation will be coming soon, followed by the start of the new school year in September. For K3 students to start their primary school life. However, these students have spent most of their 3-year kindergarten education in online classes due to the pandemic, with little face-to-face interaction. How can parents help them adapt to their new academic and social life in terms of their psychological and physical well-being. Students who are promoted to Primary 1 are at most at K2 level because they have not returned to school for at least one full year. There are many things they need to adapt to when transitioning from kindergarten to primary school. These include school schedules, daily routines, and learning styles that are vastly different from what they are used to. Kindergarten classes typically last for around 20 minutes, after which they move on to another subject, but in primary school, classes can be 35 minutes or longer, making it difficult for them to maintain their focus. All of these issues can create significant adaptation problems for young students. So how can parents explain these changes to their children? Firstly, parents should not be too anxious, as many primary schools offer simulation courses and adaptation weeks for new students, as well as school visits. Primary schools are usually much larger than kindergartens, and young students may be

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How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in young children from an early age?

Source: Dr. LAU Yee-hung, Associate Professor and Deputy Head, Department of Early Childhood Education, The Hong Kong Institute of Education Many parents hope that their children will develop a love for learning from a young age. However, children don’t automatically develop a liking for learning; it requires parents to gradually nurture them, bit by bit. Encouraging Children in Interactions Children won’t initially learn to persevere on their own. It’s the parents’ responsibility to encourage them to persist in the process, instilling in them an anticipation of success. When a child succeeds, parents can review the past with them, allowing the child to feel the valuable outcomes achieved through perseverance and encouraging them to continue exhibiting positive behavior. Providing Intrinsic Motivation Often, children need some motivation to excel in certain tasks. Parents should emphasize what the child gains without making comparisons, such as satisfying their sense of achievement, enjoying the process of effort, and receiving appreciation from parents. This helps children experience the joy of learning and establishes intrinsic motivation, enabling them to engage in learning activities willingly from the heart. Parents set a good example Learning knows no age limits, and parents can demonstrate proactive learning and curiosity in front of their children. For instance, parents can learn to cook new dishes online, expressing to their children that, even if they don’t understand initially, they persevere and learn from various sources. Even if the outcome isn’t delicious, they commit to improving next time. Allowing children to see their parents’ initiative

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